Saturday, December 28, 2013

Eye Spy


Curled up in my window seat I watched the world from cruising altitude, the lights of the cities below twinkling bright white and gold, and I couldn’t help but think how quickly the landscape turns into a starry night sky from above. My window was foggy, my face pressed up against the glass as I descended towards the west coast. I was home. There is always a wave of relief when I touch down on home turf. Heels are replaced with Danskos; fitted blouses are traded for polar fleece, and messy hair and black down jackets are accepted at all high-end restaurants.


A close family friend once told me that our eye color is based off the places that we love most–places we are meant to be. For example, if your eyes are a deep forest green, you long for long walks on muddy trails, sticky pinesap between your fingers, and twigs in your hair. If your eyes are amber brown, you yearn for arid desert trails, chasing rattlesnakes high into the mountains, the warm sun hitting your face. For those crystal icy blue eyes, you prefer flying down the side of a mountain, thrive off speed you can only get on the slopes, and look forward to gathering around a campfire to warm frozen fingers and toes.

As for me, my blue-green eyes dream of deep blue oceans, sea green waves crashing against the shore, a cold tide filled with plenty of kelp. My happiest place is walking along the edge of the ocean, with my yellow lab. With each step the sea foam washes up under my feet, my jeans soggy around the edges of my ankles, the salty air leaving tangles in my hair. The dark grey clouds clear the people off the beach and I am the only one for miles, wandering through the fog.

What is it about the ocean that can cure the head and the heart? Is it the wide-open horizon, a clean slate that calms the mind? It is the air? The salty, sandy, cold wind that clears the head. Is it the rhythm of the waves? The tide washing in and out that assures you there is something out there bigger than you–bigger than all of us. Is it soaking wet (happy as can be) Labradors that greet you here and there? Is it the small fires that dot the beach at night, huddled with friends, family, and strangers alike? Is it the loss of time? The days that last forever, from long walks, to endless cups of coffee, the movies and board games that last long into the night.



The year is coming to a close. It’s a time for reflection, a time for gathering and a time to be thankful. It’s a time to be home, in the eye of your perfect place. Here at the beach I am able to simplify my whole world into a long walk.  After a day wandering along the edge of the ocean, I sit and look out over the waves, the blue green of the ocean looking back at me, I breathe deep and take it all in.


 This cup is for Suzzie: What a tradition this has become, so lucky to run into you year after year
And Emma, Sammy and Theo: because you know exactly why this is my favorite place on earth

Monday, December 9, 2013

Because of You.




This week I can literally feel the weight of my heart. The ache is so heavy that the strength to carry it through the day feels almost impossible. This week the world lost two amazing individuals, two people that not only changed the world, but changed my life. This post is for them. With all love, from me.

I will never forget the first time we met. From the very beginning, you made it seem like we had been life long friends. You made New York feel safe. You made New York feel like a home. You made New York friendly. You made New York calm and normal.  Not a day went by that I didn’t look forward to seeing you as I made my way through the revolving glass doors. You would meet me, extending your arms out, pulling me into a hug, kissing me on the cheek, whispering, “How was your day” into my ear.

Your hundred-watt smile lifted me up on my worst days, and was contagious to everyone around you. You knew every face, every name, every person. No matter how fast I was running, you never let me get by without shouting my name, without saying hello, without reaching out to grab my hand. On days when I felt invisible, you made me feel like the most beautiful. On days when everything felt hard, you made everything seem easy.

I will never forget hearing the news of the Boston bombing crackling over the radio, your compassion and calm drowning out the chaos to the events that were unfolding. You held my hand, squeezing it tight and told me everything was going to be okay, that we must live everyday to its fullest.

I will always remember those afternoons, gathered around, sharing snacks and food. You always had good food. Where did all that food come from? Remember that day that you told me all about quinoa? You were so proud of your healthy snacks.

I will miss hearing stories about your family, weekends you spent with your son, and updates on your favorite movies, music, and newest New York hang outs. But most of all, I will miss you. You were remarkable. You were the brightest light and while 66 West 12th Street will never be the same, your light will shine on–always.

This cup is for Will.

And Mandela–

You are the other eternal flame, the guiding light to every individual in this world who is striving for peace, freedom and equality. Your strength, courage and determination not only changed history, but changed the world.  We will carry you in our hearts and our minds–always–and uphold all that you gave us. We will remember what is important, that, “What counts in life is not the mere fact that we have lived. It is what difference we have made to the lives of others that will determine the significance of the life we lead.”

It is our responsibility to carry on your legacy, to walk in your footsteps of the doers and the dreamers, to channel your determination and your strength, your wisdom and your words. Your legacy will live on in every living being as we continue to make this world a better place, for ourselves, and for generations to come. I am because you are. We are because he is. Ubuntu.